All These Years is a Tori Amos Inspired Site for Healing and Thriving After Trauma. I am dedicated to helping survivors unlock their pain through the music and art of singer-songwriter-pianist Tori Amos.
The web site was meant to be a visual journey for survivors of any type of trauma, from sexual abuse to grief to mental illness so I hope it helps guide you and inspire you in the right direction so you can keep taking positive steps to heal your life.
Interviewer: “What do you think is the most important thing to teach your daughter to survive in this world, especially as a female?”
Tori: “How to say no. With a smile on your face.”
I saw this video today and I wanted to share it here. I think boundaries are so important and that we are not taught much about them until way later in our lives. I wish I’d been taught how to assert boundaries as a child, it’s one thing I’m still struggling with to this day.
RAINN Advocate Natasha Hagan wrote an article about Tori’s music and the healing it’s brought to the survivor community. I was honored to be involved in her article as a reference source and as the editor!
Women shouldn’t deny their dark side. Sometimes those demons are frightening and sometimes they’re beautiful. You’ll have to approach them. Drink a glass of wine with them, take them for a walk on the beach, examine yourself. When you’ll think about yourself for 15 minutes a day, very honest and without a lot of criticism, you will get to know your force. Every person is unique. You have to find and respect that unique part in yourself. You can’t expect others to do the work for you. I believe a personality is like a labyrinth where you can make a wonderful journey. And that journey can take a lifetime.
“I wouldn’t go back, but I do hang out with my [inner] child now. It doesn’t go away just because we grow up. The little girl is the one who plays the piano. She gets help, but she’s the one who learned how to do it and taught all of us.
We don’t know how to parent ourselves, so we’re always looking for someone to parent us. Maybe a lover, maybe a mentor, maybe a boss – just somebody in some weird way. And we all have different ideas of what parenting means: some think it means reprimanding, some think it means approval, and some think it means just to balance and draw boundaries. I try to parent myself, but that doesn’t mean I don’t look outside sometimes. At least I’m not the serious addict I was. A lot of people are love addicts.”